I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Never underestimate the power of titties
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST