I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.