My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?