Texts From Last Night

Last Night in California (916)

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  (971): View more from Oregon

  he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out

  (916): View more from California

  you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it

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  (971): he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out (916): you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it http://tfl.nu/3y26
  Replies (11) Good night (1834) Bad night (307)
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  (916): View more from California

  I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished 

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  (916): I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished  http://tfl.nu/f0m1
  Replies (7) Good night (745) Bad night (444) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay

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  (916): I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay http://tfl.nu/vfh5
  Replies (13) Good night (750) Bad night (1826) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present

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  (916): If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present http://tfl.nu/3ku6
  Replies (2) Good night (1044) Bad night (306)
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  (916): View more from California

  You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.

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  (916): You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you. http://tfl.nu/ukeu
  Replies (4) Good night (473) Bad night (1422) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".

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  (916): You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar". http://tfl.nu/r1q0
  Replies (6) Good night (1942) Bad night (330) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.

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  (916): He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog. http://tfl.nu/4abm
  Replies (8) Good night (1700) Bad night (500)
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  (916): View more from California

  He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.

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  (916): He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head. http://tfl.nu/7dxe
  Replies (12) Good night (434) Bad night (4414) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.

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  (916): Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless. http://tfl.nu/cdoe
  Replies (9) Good night (2700) Bad night (624) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.

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  (916): I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745. http://tfl.nu/vvre
  Replies (4) Good night (1077) Bad night (634) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.

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  (916): Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On. http://tfl.nu/kp7b
  Replies (5) Good night (3288) Bad night (410) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.

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  (916): You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito. http://tfl.nu/1uk0
  Replies (8) Good night (1821) Bad night (304) Order T-Shirt
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  (510): View more from California

  I'm trying to make a sex playlist

  (916): View more from California

  record yourself crying and put it on a loop.

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  (510): I'm trying to make a sex playlist (916): record yourself crying and put it on a loop. http://tfl.nu/f4y5
  Replies (11) Good night (2888) Bad night (919)
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  (916): View more from California

  God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.

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  (916): God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines. http://tfl.nu/isnh
  Replies (12) Good night (1951) Bad night (485) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.

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  (916): You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping. http://tfl.nu/nr1z
  Replies (6) Good night (1891) Bad night (364) Order T-Shirt