When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol