Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.