Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
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Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
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Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.