My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel