Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
21 People That Are Skilled At Illegal Activities
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah