Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
USA USA USA
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls