For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
34 Tweets About Student Debt That Will Make You Laugh and Cry At The Same Time
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
14 Craigslist Ads That Will Make You Lose Your Faith in Humanity
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
32 of the Pettiest, Most Hilarious Reasons People Have Broken Up With Someone