You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.