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Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
We left the knife in your bed.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
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