"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
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I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
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He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
gay sex achievement: unlocked
you told me you were going out for groceries!!