Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Alberta, CA (780)

Sort By: Date / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day http://tfl.nu/bjmm
  Replies (2) Good night (889) Bad night (447) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends? http://tfl.nu/kqn5
  Replies (5) Good night (2870) Bad night (535) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace http://tfl.nu/va4a
  Replies (8) Good night (1701) Bad night (513) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem? http://tfl.nu/k3dz
  Replies (4) Good night (2981) Bad night (542) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned". http://tfl.nu/rmju
  Replies (36) Good night (4754) Bad night (998) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past. http://tfl.nu/8nfc
  Replies (3) Good night (1353) Bad night (551) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses http://tfl.nu/pn1w
  Replies (24) Good night (1959) Bad night (555) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe. http://tfl.nu/j3zt
  Replies (13) Good night (778) Bad night (2064) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots http://tfl.nu/onvu
  Replies (6) Good night (460) Bad night (1287) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots? http://tfl.nu/1jdo
  Replies (8) Good night (1746) Bad night (1138)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it. http://tfl.nu/t2hy
  Replies (12) Good night (1782) Bad night (547) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level http://tfl.nu/15nb
  Replies (19) Good night (1505) Bad night (1069) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something. http://tfl.nu/bxdz
  Replies (7) Good night (1115) Bad night (762)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am. http://tfl.nu/rp62
  Replies (8) Good night (710) Bad night (998) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head http://tfl.nu/nc7k
  Replies (6) Good night (3094) Bad night (790)