Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (716)

Last Night in New York (716)

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I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts

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(716): I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts http://tfl.nu/te6p

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I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew

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(716): I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew http://tfl.nu/lady

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YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!

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(716): YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!! http://tfl.nu/4ih5

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Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.

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(716): Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night. http://tfl.nu/ed6n

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Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening

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(716): Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening http://tfl.nu/obf8

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The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club

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You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall

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(585): The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club (716): You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall http://tfl.nu/3muu

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nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.

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(716): nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart. http://tfl.nu/xzee

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We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.

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(716): We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity. http://tfl.nu/f66f

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It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!

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(716): It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT! http://tfl.nu/5pm7

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I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.

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(716): I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed. http://tfl.nu/sc0t

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Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.

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(716): Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories. http://tfl.nu/jhay

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banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.

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(716): banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory. http://tfl.nu/iarg

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It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week

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You are the most depressed sports fan I know

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(716): It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week (210): You are the most depressed sports fan I know http://tfl.nu/7tbn

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Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!

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Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.

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(716): Guess what I signed up for?!?!?! (1-716): Please tell me you're not selling your eggs. http://tfl.nu/5jqi

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I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed

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(716): I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed http://tfl.nu/55n0

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Last Night in New York (716)

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