i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just sucked dick on a ferry