If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex