I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
my god I love twenty year old dicks
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon