I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.