Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
my god I love twenty year old dicks
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.