Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
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I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?