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Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
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