Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Wisconsin (608)

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  We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.

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  (608): We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother. http://tfl.nu/gjr6
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  i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex

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  (608): i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex http://tfl.nu/mh19
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  the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"

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  (608): the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair" http://tfl.nu/0q2o
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  She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom

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  (608): She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom http://tfl.nu/qu7d
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  so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober

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  (608): so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober http://tfl.nu/y352
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  Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her

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  (608): Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her http://tfl.nu/en5u
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  From behind she looks like Richard Simmons

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  (608): From behind she looks like Richard Simmons http://tfl.nu/z6dn
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  I think my vagina is haunted

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  (608): I think my vagina is haunted http://tfl.nu/mic0
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  i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful

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  (608): i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful http://tfl.nu/3xv5
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  and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed

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  (608): and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed http://tfl.nu/yzqp
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  just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll

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  (608): just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll http://tfl.nu/nron
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  I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.

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  (608): I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina. http://tfl.nu/zhac
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  i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.

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  (608): i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross. http://tfl.nu/qmd2
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  he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.

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  (608): he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling. http://tfl.nu/i2wo
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  I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.

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  (608): I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here. http://tfl.nu/1bbr
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