"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume