I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
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You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.