Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Drunk is not a location!
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.