I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.