You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Two words: blizzard sex
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.