Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Maryland (443)

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  There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.

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  (443): There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you. http://tfl.nu/nqul
  Replies (15) Good night (3101) Bad night (1128) Order T-Shirt
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  the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE

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  (443): the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE http://tfl.nu/nr5v
  Replies (5) Good night (1704) Bad night (620) Order T-Shirt
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  booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again

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  (443): booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again http://tfl.nu/1mb1
  Replies (13) Good night (5701) Bad night (711) Order T-Shirt
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  she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.

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  (443): she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates. http://tfl.nu/n2n2
  Replies (5) Good night (1998) Bad night (673) Order T-Shirt
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  I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much

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  (443): I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much http://tfl.nu/p5rg
  Replies (10) Good night (965) Bad night (1999) Order T-Shirt
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  she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.

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  (443): she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise. http://tfl.nu/igb9
  Replies (9) Good night (1985) Bad night (526) Order T-Shirt
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  When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.

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  (443): When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain. http://tfl.nu/mvaw
  Replies (6) Good night (1984) Bad night (661) Order T-Shirt
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  Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.

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  (443): Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest. http://tfl.nu/68lv
  Replies (22) Good night (5070) Bad night (2906) Order T-Shirt
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  Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.

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  (443): Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had. http://tfl.nu/2xlf
  Replies (28) Good night (7331) Bad night (855) Order T-Shirt
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  she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.

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  (443): she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup. http://tfl.nu/y9af
  Replies (15) Good night (5194) Bad night (656) Order T-Shirt
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  THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.

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  (443): THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT. http://tfl.nu/04d2
  Replies (14) Good night (4822) Bad night (1180) Order T-Shirt
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  dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.

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  (443): dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice. http://tfl.nu/lkbh
  Replies (5) Good night (1823) Bad night (780) Order T-Shirt
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  this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing

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  (443): this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing http://tfl.nu/c7lz
  Replies (23) Good night (5572) Bad night (1135) Order T-Shirt
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  Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?

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  (443): Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree? http://tfl.nu/odr7
  Replies (10) Good night (2692) Bad night (636) Order T-Shirt
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  told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...

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  (443): told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet... http://tfl.nu/9yno
  Replies (6) Good night (2635) Bad night (811) Order T-Shirt