Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
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Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
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i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.