I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
