Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Follow @tfln
Cracked IndieClick Humor