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I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
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