just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?