well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
be right there i have to get my cape
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
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Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
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maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.