Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Virginia (703)

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  Do you still have your period?

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  (703): Do you still have your period? http://tfl.nu/m9zt
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  He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now

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  (703): He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now http://tfl.nu/q7km
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  in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.

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  (703): in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner. http://tfl.nu/1ds9
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  it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp

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  (703): it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp http://tfl.nu/dn3p
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  Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”

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  (703): Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh” http://tfl.nu/trqs
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  I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.

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  (703): I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts. http://tfl.nu/s7w5
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  just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.

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  (703): just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator. http://tfl.nu/c4j4
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  help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.

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  (703): help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help. http://tfl.nu/t5wn
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  Quoting wale wont save you from herpes

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  (703): Quoting wale wont save you from herpes http://tfl.nu/v00t
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  Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.

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  (703): Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally. http://tfl.nu/lv6m
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  And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...

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  (703): And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet... http://tfl.nu/n7ez
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  From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.

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  (703): From russia with love. But also with chlamydia. http://tfl.nu/1l8f
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  Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.

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  (703): Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time. http://tfl.nu/wm5x
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  my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming

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  (703): my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming http://tfl.nu/nmyq
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  someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...

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  (703): someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat... http://tfl.nu/oev5
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