Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit