i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!