My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.