There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
You're right, stupid question.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well