What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
You're right, stupid question.