my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
You're right, stupid question.
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Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.