apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.