THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
then he tried to convert me to islam
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup