She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
then he tried to convert me to islam