he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
23 Medical Examiners Reveal The Most Disturbing Causes Of Death They’ve Seen
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .