They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.