I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.