You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt