Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
bring money and cleavage
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now