he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.