official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.