I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.