Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Randomize
