So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..