doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.