I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I have demons in me.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles