and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
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Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
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Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.