I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
smell my finger.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.