the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.