ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
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I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
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Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.