I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.