Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Texas (512)

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  (512): View more from Texas

  I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.

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  (512): I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up. http://tfl.nu/4fq7
  Replies (14) Good night (575) Bad night (2155) Order T-Shirt
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  I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.

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  Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply

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  (512): I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all. (1-512): Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply http://tfl.nu/mzzt
  Replies (7) Good night (559) Bad night (1231)
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  3.50 mugs at the bar.

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.

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  How ugly, and does she have friends?

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  (512): 3.50 mugs at the bar. (1-512): Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice. (512): How ugly, and does she have friends? http://tfl.nu/peow
  Replies (40) Good night (557) Bad night (990)
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  Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.

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  (512): Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom. http://tfl.nu/t8hh
  Replies (13) Good night (554) Bad night (1998) Order T-Shirt
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  Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.

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  (512): Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL. http://tfl.nu/149w
  Replies (12) Good night (553) Bad night (1974) Order T-Shirt
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  Can Purell be used as lube?

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  (512): Can Purell be used as lube? http://tfl.nu/e9pj
  Replies (37) Good night (541) Bad night (3918) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white

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  (512): he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white http://tfl.nu/k2oa
  Replies (9) Good night (533) Bad night (1951) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  it hurts more in the daytime

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  (512): it hurts more in the daytime http://tfl.nu/5j5m
  Replies (13) Good night (531) Bad night (2296) Order T-Shirt
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  He told me I remind him of his sister...

  (917): View more from New York City

  Was this before or after you did it?

  (512): View more from Texas

  before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.

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  (512): He told me I remind him of his sister... (917): Was this before or after you did it? (512): before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during. http://tfl.nu/66ff
  Replies (7) Good night (530) Bad night (2614)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"

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  (512): Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants" http://tfl.nu/ccmr
  Replies (3) Good night (528) Bad night (135) Order T-Shirt
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  And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'

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  (512): And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.' http://tfl.nu/l1oz
  Replies (18) Good night (527) Bad night (3127) Order T-Shirt
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  I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.

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  (512): I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you. http://tfl.nu/8f7o
  Replies (4) Good night (523) Bad night (899)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.

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  I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.

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  (512): I feel like someone had their period in my eyes. (512): I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night. http://tfl.nu/gefs
  Replies (8) Good night (518) Bad night (1933)
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  Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.

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  (512): Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway. http://tfl.nu/39nz
  Replies (1) Good night (514) Bad night (436) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.

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  (512): I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it. http://tfl.nu/p4f6
  Replies (26) Good night (512) Bad night (7850) Order T-Shirt