Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.