Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.