Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.