Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...