He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.