She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.