All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.