her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"