Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.