In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
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Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
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Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.