when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...