She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
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She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
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She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.