I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
then he tried to convert me to islam
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin